I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
