bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
