my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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