i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm too high and old for this...
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
