I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
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Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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