you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
