I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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