I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
