It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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