I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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