and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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