the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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