it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
