She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
