I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
