If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Are we still banned from the library?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
