Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
