His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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