Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
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