its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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