So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
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My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
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I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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