i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
That's when you crack a 10am beer
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Randomize
