The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
