I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
