East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
