The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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