wat bout pragnant strippers??
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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