You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
bring money and cleavage
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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