I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
