either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
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Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
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Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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