she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
