I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Randomize
