college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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