She said her name was "party"
I think im going to throw up on grandma
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
