Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
