once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
