lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize