Can Purell be used as lube?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
