You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I party with great urgency now.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize