Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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