he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
