Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
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We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
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I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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