if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
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I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
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But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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