It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
