farters have to be the big spoon...
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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