so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
