Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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