Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize