Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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