It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
