my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
