Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Randomize
