the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
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