I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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